Mess Around: Brisbane Night 1

Mess Around: Brisbane Night 1

Hi all

Firstly, I am full aware I am yet to submit the blog for my last two Sydney shows. I got caught up with filming four more episodes of Spicks and Specks. I promise I will post them over the weekend, but while tonight’s shows is fresh in my mind – here’s what happened in Brisbane.

I started the show chatting to a few latecomers; one who said “It’s too hard to find a cab in The Valley to bring me here. It’s all your fault”, and another who said “You don’t have children do you?” I think the last one was referring to the fact that her kids needed to be put to bed before she came out for the night.

Of course, being that I’m in Brisbane my stalker Maria was in the front row. Anyone that saw the Spicks and Specks live show a few years ago will remember Maria. We did 62 shows on that tour, all around Australia. Maria came to 58 of them. Apparently she couldn’t get time off work for the other 4 shows.

I also found a couple of fifteen year olds in the front row, and found their mothers sitting a few seats up from them, one of whom was single. I tried to set her up with a date (her son said he’d like a new Dad to be buff, so he could protect his Mum) then got distracted by a woman in uniform in the second row. Turns out she’s a trainee pilot.

I asked her to come on stage and practice her inflight announcement, and she said “Should I bring my pilot’s headphones with me?”. I said yes very quickly, then dragged the fifteen year olds, the single Mum and some latecomers on stage to be the passengers. While the single Mum paraded up the plane in a sexy fashion, I told Nicole to imagine the engine had fallen off, and try to make a calm announcement in an emergency.

She said something like this: “Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking. I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is the engine isn’t on fire anymore. The bad news is it has fallen off. We can still make it on one engine though, so we should be OK. I’ll keep you updated”

I then took a photo of the cast, and tweeted it with the question; “If this is a sitcom, what should it be called?”

IMG00067-20100224-1926

Thanks to everyone that answered – my favourites were “Geeks On A Plane”, “Up In The Air”, “Flight Of The Cessnas”, “Our Dad Looks Like Bill Oddie” and “QANTAS – Questionably Aged, Nice, Thoughtful but Arthritic Souls”. I think the winning tweet though was “Not sure what to call the Sitcom, but looks like it won’t get past the Pilot.”

Other memorable moments from the show included a bloke in the back row who piped up mid-sentence to say “Excuse me Adam, I’m sorry to interrupt, but there’s an asshole up here texting and it’s giving me the shits.” I ran all the way to the back row to find the culprit, only to be told that no one knew where it was coming from, but there was a constant beeping. I listened really hard for it and soon found that the “beep” was actually a “squeak” coming from someone’s seat. If there’s someone “texting” in tomorrow’s show I’ll be onto it immediately.

Kudos also must go to an older bloke in the front who watched me get tongue-tied trying to explain why sex is different for men and women, then summed it all up by shouting out “Women need a reason, men just need a place”. Well done sir.

Finally, it was time for me to wrap up the show, but not before Maria piped in to tell me she had been rehearsing my version of Advance Australia Fair for a performance course, and could she please sing it with me. I then closed the show by singing the National Anthem to the tune of Working Class Man while a pilot stood guard on one side of the stage, and a random long-haired audience member undud his ponytail and swung his hair around heavy-metal style in time to the music. You know – the ususal ending!!

Oh by the way, I took a photo of the hot single Mum and said I would post it on the blog for any possible suitors. Turns out she has a thing for George Clooney, so if you’re buff, greying, and have dark, brooding but caring eyebrows, this could be the woman for you:

IMG00068-20100224-1928

That’s all for tonight’s show. Considering I had a head-cold and was full of Panadol and Red Bull, the audience response was superb. Let’s see what happens tomorrow shall we? Oh, and the Sydney blogs are coming. Promise.

Adam



11 Comments

  • kiera

    25.02.2010 at 01:03 Reply

    adam when you say you promise to blog the sydney shows do you mean it? cos ive been stalking your blog for eleven days now to see how you describe my twelve year old brother Liam tackling you, and also to see if i get a mention for my awesome heckling skills. so you better do it cos remember we all know where you live ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Kat

    25.02.2010 at 01:04 Reply

    Glad you liked my admittedly quite poor QANTAS joke. I just couldn’t think of any more words starting with N. So I ended up with ‘nice’. Sigh.

    Can’t wait to see you on Friday night, sounds like it’ll be great!

  • Steve

    25.02.2010 at 09:15 Reply

    Great show mate, highlight was definitely the search for the serial ‘texter’ up the back, a five minute search for the offender revealed a squeaky seat !!! lol.

    My other personal highlight was seeing Nicole the trainee pilot on stage a few times, soooo cute ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Mil in Row H

    25.02.2010 at 10:06 Reply

    Loved the random format show, Hillsy.
    Thoroughly enjoyed your story regarding meeting the Queen and Lady Gaga.

    Bonus points for discovering Nicole the Trainee Pilot – absolute brilliance!

    XD

  • Fiona

    25.02.2010 at 12:03 Reply

    Brave soldier for being seeming to be sick – I have a head cold too, but over being brave: had to miss Kitty the night before, but I wasn’t missing you. And it helped – ta muchly.

    Have a theory about the Mystery-texter: first time I saw you was in Bris a few years ago at QUT in the city. There was some guy who threw a tantrum close to the end of your act and did the full walk-across-the-front-of-the-stage walkout, and you tried to talk to him but is was just his only little performance art moment, and it struck me when I got home last night that the thing that had been bugging me since his Hughesy announcement sounded really familiar, that was a similar voice as that time….. Maybe Maria has competition after all!!

    Hit the Lemsips – they help the head

  • Fiona

    25.02.2010 at 12:05 Reply

    Sorry about the typos – may need to hit the Lemsips again myself……

  • Karen

    25.02.2010 at 14:56 Reply

    Loved your Brissy show yesterday. Thanks for making my 40th birthday unreal. Really loved the story about the pizza dude. The accent was hilarious! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Grace

    25.02.2010 at 17:31 Reply

    hey adam! i loved your show, almost as much as i love you. JOKE!
    i was down the front, but you didn’t talk to us. i probably should of said something. my bad D:
    i was seated next to the ‘dalai’
    looking forward to seeing you again next year!!

  • Nick

    25.02.2010 at 17:36 Reply

    Hey,

    I was the kid in the white t-shirt that was taller than you and strikingly handsome… yes the kid who said he would like a new dad to be buff… you no as you do. Anyways i would just like to say that you are a spectacular performer and i was at your show in the comedy festival last year in Brisbane, when you told me not to shoot up heroin in my dick after telling a story about a heavy metal dude that was a forensics investigator over in some random place you did a show. Definitely be back for more next year in the comedy festival… front row so you can have fun with me again…wait that sounded Sus.

    Anyway keep up the good work, congratulations on your marriage and you future baby girl.

    Nick

  • Ros

    25.02.2010 at 23:46 Reply

    I’m the single mum who got up on stage with you to play Air Hostess! Sorry that I didnt do “sexy” with the sensuous lips you wanted. I was laughing too much! In hindsight we could have played up the potential plane crash and someone should have fainted at the prospect of crashing. We had a fabulous time and thought your show was brilliant. Can’t believe you didn’t have any scripting but managed to keep us all amused with side splitting laughter for over an hour (and probably longer if you had time). I’m still single and looking. Thanks for trying for me. See you next year I hope. All the best with the birth of your baby.

  • Teresa

    26.02.2010 at 21:33 Reply

    Just had to thank you for a fantastic show last Wednesday night. We were sitting a couple rows back from the ‘pilot’ and thoroughly enjoyed the entire night. Loved the scaryness of audience contact and you had us in stitches tying it all together. Don’t know about the guy up the back though, shouting out in the middle of the show!! Loved the anthem with Maria, the Queen and Lady Gaga story, the pizza guy (fabulous accent!!) and all the rest, made for a brilliant night out that we are still talking about. Very clever… I admire anyone who can do an unscripted show like that and get away with it. Well done!

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