Another night, another show, another blog.
Tonight’s show really only focussed on a few people. One was a woman in the front row called Sarah who had a bit of a whinge about her kids, and suggested that what I thought was a polite audience was actually a roomful of people exhausted after looking after children all day.
The next was a woman behind her who said “What about those of us who chose not to have children? Woohoo!”
I took a photo of the two together, and decided to test my twitter followers to see if they could tell which one had children:
The majority of people answered both, although one person suggested “They both look like they own turtles”
Turns out Sarah was still grumpy at her husband Wade for “buggering off overseas for seven weeks and leaving me with three kids”. I found out that Wade was a Quarantine Officer and had indeed spent seven weeks working in California and Las Vegas. I know, sounds tough huh?
I asked Wade it there had been a passionate homecoming and he said he was still being punished. I asked if he had experienced any quality loving at all since being home and he replied “little bits here and there” – which basically meant no.
In fact, this meant that Wade had gone at least eight weeks without sex. I immediately tried to remedy this by sending Dennis from the front row out to the bar to buy them a bottle of champagne. He came back with the champers, two glasses and a beer for himself, and I continued to pour for Wade and Sarah throughout the show.
Later I enticed Wade on stage to serenade Sarah. Unfortunately he told me he couldn’t sing, so I stood offstage and sang, while he mimed “It Had To Be You”
There were photos taken on Sarah’s camera, and they will be posted here as soon as I get them.
Meanwhile I discovered a man called Peter who had the best moustache I have ever seen. I took a photo but he blinked at the wrong time, so I tweeted the photo with the instruction “Your caption for this photo please”:
The responses were numerous and superb, and included:
Ewww… Eww… Get it off me, get it off me!
When boony is your hero
The endangered chinese-ginger australian wise man
At long last, Jamie Hyneman’s long last father had been found!
Depressed sparrow fly’s into a man, and ends it.
Help! The enormous weight of this massive moustache is pulling my eyelids shut!
Well, that’s one scrumpdilli-umpcious nose neighbour you’ve got there!
Sam Elliott says ‘If I can’t see it, it’s not really there’
Merv Hughes without air brushung.
‘oh my, jackie chan has aged quickly!’
Man laughs so hard, hair comes out his nose.
Man attaked by moustache loses eyes tragedy.
“Dammit, why won’t this girl just STAY on the railroad tracks?” *piano music*
Mr Monopoly after his monocle had been stolen.
If I push even harder my beard goes blue.
I am the walrus…goo goo gajoob
Well done to all of you who tweeted, you ended up being a big part of the show. And well done to Peter for being such a good sport.
As I stood outside after the show signing fifteen autographs for Maria my stalker (did I mention she’s coming to every show?) an audience member told me he saw Wade helping a very unsteady Sarah out of the venue. Oops. I then worried that I may have poured her a little too much champagne.
This was confirmed as I sat down to write this blog and received the following tweet from Sarah:
“Sarieslittlemen @adamhillscomedy you got me drunk! Thanks for a great night!”
Thankfully, as I wrote that last sentence I checked my account again one last time, and just got this one from Wade:
“Wade_OShannessy @adamhillscomedy Mission Accomplished….thanks mate”
Good night everyone.