What an interesting show it was tonight. It all started with a latecomer called Glenys who told me there was nothing interesting about her.
Glenys arrived on her own but had two tickets, because her daughter’s boyfriend bought the tix but they got a better offer. Glenys was sent by her daughter to check me out because her daughter wants to marry me (Glenys’ words, not mine) while her daughter and her fella had bought more tickets for tomorrow night.
I rang her daughter Megan to find out what the offer was. They had gone to a J & H party. “What’s that?” I hear you cry. It’s a party in which everyone has to dress as something beginning with J or H.
Megan’s fella Matt had dressed as Hercules, Megan was dressed as jailbait. The audience then suggested I use a video phone but none could be found, so I asked Megan to describe what she was wearing. She went into detail, at which point somone in the crowd said “Make her wear it to the show tomorrow night, then take a photo for us”
Megan said she would only do that if I married her. I told her that if she and Matt both came in costume I would marry them both in the show, and buy them gifts beginning with J and H. Glenys agreed to return to watch it all happen.
Fifteen minutes later, Megan texted me a photo of her and Matt and another guy, and I tweeted it immediately so that the audience could check it out for themselves:
So, looks like tomorrow night I will marry a Greek God and a Naughty Schoolgirl. Hurrah.
Tomorrow night is also the final night of Mess Around, with an extra show at 11.30pm to raise money for the Royal Hospital for Sick Children. Tickets are 10 pounds and are selling very fast. All tickets sales will go to the Sick Kids, as will the proceeds of an auction of some miniature Irn Bru taxis, signed by Ian Rankin, Biffy Clyro, Kevin Bridges and Steven Moffat.
It has been an amazing run, that started with a stuffed toy called Honker and will end with an auction and a stage wedding.
You’ll have all the details after the shows (probably the next morning to be honest)