It took a little time to work out who the star of the show was going to be tonight, but once we got there it kinda took off.
I wandered along the front row for a while, making wild assumptions about people based on their drinks, and eventually settled on a man called Bob. Bob was with his wife Sue, and they were both drinking Sauvignon Blanc. They were both from Essendon, where Bob worked as a fund manager.
I asked Bob when the last time he did something romantic for his wife was, and he said “When I bought her that drink”. I then asked what was the most romantic thing they had done recently, and he said “We went to the Sydney Mardi Gras”.
Turns out they spent their thirtieth anniversary at the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. I asked Bob if there was somehting he needed to tell Sue, and he replied that she was the one that booked the tickets.
I then asked Sue if perhaps she wanted Bob to be a little more camp, a little more flamboyant, dress a little more “Mardi Gras” and she seemed to like that idea. So I called Bob to the stage, decided a makeover was in order, and took a “Before” photo:
I then called out to the performing duo who are on after me, a Cabaret Comedy Act by the name of Frisky and Mannish. We share a dressing room every night, and while I do my show Frisky and Mannish prepare for their show by strapping on corsets, applying makeup and plentiful amounts of glitter. I asked them if they would do a glam makeover on Bob for me, and they jumped with glee.
I asked Simon the amazing sound tech to cue up some appropriate music, dragged Sue to the stage and placed her on a stool, told a couple of stories, and fifteen minutes later Bob was ready.
To the strains of “It’s Raining Men”, and with a mirror ball dazzling the crowd, Bob pranced onto the stage, and performed a high-kicking raunchy dance for his wife – who may I say, loved it.
“But what did Bob look like?” I hear you cry.
I tweeted the photo and asked for captions, the best of which were:
benik123 That Madonna’s let herself go..
belindarae Lady Gaga after her ‘Monster Ball’ Tour. It sure wore her out.
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