Mess Around – Melbourne April 11

Howdy

It took a little time to work out who the star of the show was going to be tonight, but once we got there it kinda took off.

I wandered along the front row for a while, making wild assumptions about people based on their drinks, and eventually settled on a man called Bob. Bob was with his wife Sue, and they were both drinking Sauvignon Blanc. They were both from Essendon, where Bob worked as a fund manager.

I asked Bob when the last time he did something romantic for his wife was, and he said “When I bought her that drink”. I then asked what was the most romantic thing they had done recently, and he said “We went to the Sydney Mardi Gras”.

Turns out they spent their thirtieth anniversary at the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. I asked Bob if there was somehting he needed to tell Sue, and he replied that she was the one that booked the tickets.

I then asked Sue if perhaps she wanted Bob to be a little more camp, a little more flamboyant, dress a little more “Mardi Gras” and she seemed to like that idea. So I called Bob to the stage, decided a makeover was in order, and took a “Before” photo:

I then called out to the performing duo who are on after me, a Cabaret Comedy Act by the name of Frisky and Mannish. We share a dressing room every night, and while I do my show Frisky and Mannish prepare for their show by strapping on corsets, applying makeup and plentiful amounts of glitter. I asked them if they would do a glam makeover on Bob for me, and they jumped with glee.

I asked Simon the amazing sound tech to cue up some appropriate music, dragged Sue to the stage and placed her on a stool, told a couple of stories, and fifteen minutes later Bob was ready.

To the strains of “It’s Raining Men”, and with a mirror ball dazzling the crowd, Bob pranced onto the stage, and performed a high-kicking raunchy dance for his wife – who may I say, loved it.

“But what did Bob look like?” I hear you cry.

This:

I tweeted the photo and asked for captions, the best of which were:

benik123 That Madonna’s let herself go..

belindarae Lady Gaga after her ‘Monster Ball’ Tour. It sure wore her out.

trollishtwit“What do you mean the drugs may have un-forseen side effects??”

TheAmereMortal Tony Abbott’s attempt to appeal to younger voters goes horribly wrong

I then moved onto the Chris Hughes Fame Drive – in which I am attempting to make a mild-mannered IT Manager as famous as possible before the end of the Festival. If you haven’t been following the news, Chris Hughes will strip to a pair of bike shorts in Federation Square this Saturday if we can raise $20000 for a charity that helps people with cystic fibrosis – The Simon Rhoden Foundation.

The main news is that a friend of mine at Opera Australia (who was in last night’s audience) has suggested that perhaps Chris can have a walk on part in a party scene in the next OA production. Chris seemed to like that a lot.

The campaign steps up a notch tomorrow, when Chris and his “manager” Sean appear on the Triple J breakfast show at 8.40am. Hopefully the donations will really kick off after that, and we can reach the fabled $20000 mark. I don’t have another show until Friday now, as we are filming Spicks and Specks this week – so it’s in your hands now people.

Print off posters, email your friends, watch the viral videos, do whatever you can to get the tally going. We still need another $11500 to get there. And of course you are all invited to Federation Square this Saturday at 3.30pm for the Chris Hughes strip, featuring:

The Doppelganger dancers, a meat raffle, a twelve year old MC, girls in lycra, and with a bit of luck – a Chris Hughes Calendar for sale.

Tonight’s photo for the calendar looked like this:

Big massive thanks to Frisky and Mannish, and if you get a chance to see their show please do – they are wonderful wonderful people. Also a huge shout out to Bob, or “Betty Whitewings” as he was dubbed, for being such an amazing sport. The best bit was, he had to go out to dinner with friends afterwards, and there were no facewipes handy with which to remove the makeup.

As always the details for the charity drive are:

* The Chris Hughes facebook page is here – http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=107878905899360&ref=ts

* The viral video is here – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmU-hqdJD7k

* You can make your own donations here
http://www.simonrhodenfoundation.org/donate.asp

Or with this PayPal link

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_donations&business=simonrhodenfnd%40optusnet%2ecom%2eau&lc=AU&item_name=Simon%20Rhoden%20Foundation&item_number=CF_SRF&currency_code=AUD&bn=PP%2dDonationsBF%3abtn_donateCC_LG%2egif%3aNonHostedGuest

The recent teaser video we made for Chris is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG6h2S1I44M

That’s all for now, I will keep you abreast of any developments (Isn’t that right Betty Whitewings?)

Adam