After a few days of filming Spicks and Specks, and a Greg Fleet-penned comedy-drama series called Die On Your Feet, I returned to the Melbourne Comedy festival tonight, where I immediately landed upon three proud American girls in the audience, and one self-deprecating Brit. I mentioned that Americans think English people have bad teeth, which of course offended the Englishwoman.
I then found two more Brits, and invited all six of them on stage for an 8 Mile-style battle to see who had the best teeth. I asked them all their names, and when one of the American girls said “Stacey” I said “Of course”. It just sounded so American. I gave the opinion that the same name in an Aussie drawl sounded wrong, until an Aussie girl piped up “I’m Stacey”.
I invited her on stage, mainly because she was dressed up in the style of a Moulin Rouge dancer. I decided to take a photo of her, and as I did so she was heckled by her friend in the audience and gave her the finger. So I took the photo, tweeted it, and asked for captions:
Well played to those that responded:
dmlandrum Woman recites her vows at Australian wedding
seanflindsay Oz decides to glam up it’s customs search.
ThunderKats1991 Velma from Chicago: One tough bitch.
ThunderKats1991 Girl is defiant as gang of older women attempt a makeover
ThunderKats1991 The French are fighting back? Well, there is a first time for everything.
TheAmereMortal Nina Conti forgets the puppet.
Well done all, once again ThunderKats1991 was on fire
We then conducted the teeth-battle round by round, with Stacey parading as “the girl that holds up the cards between the rounds”. One by one the Americans faced off, literally, against the Brits, and although it seemed the audience wanted them both to lose – the Americans were declared the winners. Although Stacey got more cheers than anyone.
It was only then that Stacey told me her last name – “Cakebread”. yes, her full name was Stacey Cakebread. And she is an apprentice Pastry Chef. Brilliant. I assumed that when her Mum was pregnant, she actually had a Cakebread in the oven. Yes, I’m very witty.
Eventually, I got round to introducing Chris Hughes – the IT Manager who has promised to strip for charity on the final night of the Festival if we raise enough money. (See previous blogs for more information).
Since the last show – we have raised almost $2500 for The Simon Rhoden Foundation, Chris’ charity of choice. We only need $17500 more to make him strip in Federation Square; the viral video we made of Chris has had over 800 views here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmU-hqdJD7k (viewers comments have come from Edinburgh, London and Estonia thus far)
and The Chris Hughes Facebook fan page now has 247 members here
I struggled to find anyone in the audience willing to volunteer any more services to help make Chris famous, but I did find a man in the front row who is a scaffolder. I asked if he could build a platform on which we could place a banner for Chris, and he said maybe. I invited him back to the show tomorrow, so I’ll keep you posted.
Please keep your donations coming in to the foundation that helps people with cystic fibrosis here
Or with this PayPal link
and of course, I am still working on a Chris Hughes Calendar to raise funds as well. Tonight’s photo of Chris with the audience members on stage looked like this:
Don’t forget the whole point of this is to make Chris famous, so once again I challenge you to print off this poster, put it up somwehere prominent, and send me a photo of it at firstname.lastname@example.org:
I know that’s a lot of information, so I’ll sign off now. Oh, I also ended the show by sexy-dancing with a lady on stage while her husband filmed it, in order to freak out their daughter. Y’know – the usual.
So, now that I’m back into it – let’s keep the momentum up, and make Chris Hughes more famous than Shiloh Jolie Pitt.
See ya tomorrow