Ok, here’s what happened tonight:
I found a guy from Brisbane suavely relaxing in the front row with a red wine in hand, and asked him to replicate the pose on stage. He told me he was travelling around Australia with some English friends, and I asked if they were getting on his nerves yet. He said “well they are English” so I assumed they’d been complaining about stuff.
He then told me that people pay more attention when the English complain, so I called the Englishman (Mike) to the stage to demonstrate. I then decided to drag some other nationalities on stage from the audience – and ended up with a German, an American and a Canadian.
One by one they demonstrated the stereotypes of their nationalities while complaining – The Aussie was understated, the Englishman offered viable solutions, the German was strict, a little scary and spoke only German, the American said Australian beer was shit, and everyone loved the Canadian purely because she wasn’t American.
I took umbrage at the beer-slur form the American, and asked what Aussie beers she had tried. She replied “Tooheys Dry” and “Blonde” and said that VB made her vomit. I tried to find a decent Aussie beer at the bar, but the only one left was Melbourne Bitter. I told our American friend that Melbourne Bitter is one of our finest beers, but must be downed in one.
So she did.
And kinda threw up.
Well, she didn’t actually vomit, but there was definitely a return of the beer, mainly into her own hand. Oops.
I also offered a drink to the Canadian girl, but she told me she was 14. Oops.
So I set her up with a 13 year old from the crowd, although neither of them would hold the other one’s hand.
Then there was the return of Chris Hughes – the IT Manager who has promised to strip in Federation Square on the final Saturday of the Festival if we can raise $20,000 for a cystic fibrosis charity called The Simon Rhoden Foundation. As well as the strip, there will be a meat raffle, and it looks like we will have stubbie holders for sale as well. Last night’s stubbie-holder-designer has apparently found a sponsor – The Victorian Police Counter Terrorism Unit. Of course.
The billboard in Balwyn North looks like it will go ahead, as will the Chris Hughes Calendar, with tonight’s multicultural photo looking like this:
I think that’s all to report for tonight. The details again for the Make Chris Hughes More Famous Than Shiloh Jolie Pitt campaign are as follows:
* You can make your own donations here
Or with this PayPal link
Come on people – after another successful bucket drive at the door tonight, we have now raised around $3500 for the strip. Only $16500 to go!
More to come