Holy wow tonight’s show was fun!
I don’t entirely know how to describe it, but it started with a Canadian student called Rose who didn’t have to go to work today. In order to find out more about her I waded into the audience, and got distracted by a man called Ian with whom I chatted in an Aussie drawl without using any words.
I then found Steve and Anne, who were married for (according to Steve) “Twenty something years”. I asked Anne, who replied “twenty two”. When I asked if Steve would be getting sex after hat, Anne replied quietly “Not likely”. I postulated that her laid back response was the reason there was never an Australian version of Jerry Springer, then found an American called Annie, and dragged all three of them to the stage to prove my point.
I also dragged up a man called Aaron, who turned out to be the only Aussie amongst them – not surprisingly, as he was the only one wearing a floral Hawaiian-type shirt, and moccassins with no socks. We reenacted a national stereotypes edition of Springer, in which Steve (the Englishman) put on a Liverpool Beatles accent to talk himself down, Anne (his Kiwi wife) quietly dissed him, and Aaron the Aussie checked we were all OK.
We then reenacted the scene with Annie the American, who immediately assoulted Steve, whole Aaron stepped in as a genuine precaution.
I of course took a staged photo for the blog:
I then called to the stage the audience member from last night that I have decided to turn into a star – IT Manager Chris Hughes. Remember this photo from last night?
Chris came back, as did his “agent” Sean, Sophie the German nurse, and Holly the landscape gardener. If you recall, the idea is that we make Chris as famous as possible by the end of the Festival while raising money for The Simon Rhoden Foundation that helps people with cystic fibrosis. In fact, the challenge is that if we can raise $20000 by the last night of the festival, Simon will strip to a pair of bike pants on stage in Federation Square.
Well, it turns out that Chris had put his IT skills to use and has set up a link to a Paypal site at which people can donate. The link is as follows:
I promised that as soon as the show was over I would make the first donation, but was beaten to the punch by Holly, who whipped out her cheque book and scribbled out a $100 donation to get things rolling. I thanked her for her contribution, and said she was no longer required to come to the shows, but she did leave some secateurs to manscape Chris for his strip.
I then asked the crowd for suggestions on how to make Chris a star, at which someone suggested a calendar. Brilliant! We decided that I would take a photo of Chris with different audiences over the season, and turn them into a calendar, so I made him pose with tonight’s protagonists:
Whilst sitting there Chris and Steve realised they share the surname Hughes. When I asked Steve what he did for a living, he said “marketing and sales” so I immediately invited him back tomorrow to work out a marketing strategy for Chris. I also invited Sophie the German nurse, who said she would bring her boyfriend Mark who is a butcher. When I said I wasn’t sure how he could contribute, she suggested a Barbeque for the final night strip.
So, here’s how it all stands – if we can raise at least $20000 for The Simon Rhoden Foundation by the final night of the Festival, Chris will strip to a pair of bicycle shorts ($50000 and it’s budgie smugglers, $100000 and he and his agent will nude up) while Sophie’s boyfriend cooks a barbeque.
And you know what – I never ended up making it to Rose.
Thanks to an awesome audience tonight, and to Holly who has made the first official donation of the Chris Hughes campaign.
As I left the stage, I received a message from the previous blog to say that there is now an official Chris Hughes Facebook Fanpage. The link is here
Please join up, and please please donate to the Simon Rhoden Foundation. Let’s make Chris a star! That link to donate again, is
I think that’s all for tonight, the rest is up to you.
Ta ta for now