Well, we set a record tonight for the longest Mess Around ever. Here’s what happened.
It started with an interesting front row, and in particular an interesting looking man called Ben. I asked him on stage for a photo, and he asked me if he could have a hug. I said yes, and we took a photo of it:
I then took a photo of Ben, and tweeted the question, “This is Ben. What do you think he does?” (Actually I misspelt his name as Bem in the tweet, my apologies)
The answers started rolling in immediately and included:
fiatpanda Follows your mum home and presses himself up against the window?
Well done everyone, I am truly blown away by how funny people are.
Most normal people would have ended the show there, but no, I decided to keep chatting to people and found a young man sitting next to a young lady called Natalie. I asked if they were together, and they paused. Of course we all read a lot into that pause, at which point he said “I would be honoured to, but…I had my chance and blew it”
Turns out he had once tried to ask her out, but was overcome by nerves, turned into a stammering Hugh Grant wannabe and managed to utter “I like your hair, it’s very squirrelly” before she ran away.
I asked Natalie if there was a chance this could ever work, and she replied “Yes, as long as he doesn’t start by talking about a rodent”. It then transpired that there was indeed a dead fox in his house, but we pushed on regardless.
I saw what I must do. I brought him on stage and said it was time to ask Natalie out properly. I grabbed a phone from Sophie in the front row and played “Come What May” from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, while our hero took the mic and asked Natalie for a drink as “more than friends”.
She said yes, the crowd cheered, and they spent the rest of the gig holding hands and drinking pink champagne (that I rustled up from the bar)
And somehow, two hours after we started (minus twenty minutes for interval) the show came to an en, although not before a quick recap of our prostate awareness campaign.
A few weeks ago we found the slogan “No Joke, Be A Bloke, Get A Poke” in one of my shows and made a poster with a man called Sachin. Last night we updated that poster with a nurse called Laura. A few avid blog readers made their own version of the poster, including Mandy B who offered up this one:
I asked if anyone in the crowd could display one in a prominent place, and a guy called Stewie said he would hang a few in a men’s prison. Someone else suggested the students in the crowd could hang them up on campus, and just like that a movement was born.
the challenge now is to put these posters up in public places and raise prostate awareness across the world. Feel free to download the poster, print it off, and send me the photos of your results.
And that, finally, was all that happened. I’m beginning to see why we set the record. It has taken me almost as long to write the blog as it took to do the show.
More to come tomorrow from Brighton, and a huge thanks to everyone in the Glee Club Birmingham tonight.