Holy crap, just when I thought it was going to be a quiet Wednesday crowd, the Gods step in and give me a veritable smorgasbord of talent in the audience.
It all started when I made comment on the interesting jobs people have had this week, and I put it down to the fact that the shows are at 10pm, and that people with normal 9 to 5 IT jobs don’t want to be out that late. Of course, there was an IT guy in the crowd who took offense.
Two seats from him was a guy who works doing product placement in films and TV shows – a job that made a woman in front of him snort her beer. She turned out to be a lady called Sun, who brightened up one of my shows here last year. In fact we ended that show by singing “Her Comes The Sun” in her honour, so I promised to do the same again tonight.
I also suggested that Sun may well be the best name in the audience and asked if anyone could top it. A couple down the front started whispering to each other, and it turned out her nickname for him was “Thursday Dan” because “I met him on a Thursday”. The ladies in the audience awwwwed.
He then chipped in “The truth is she met a few Dans that week, I was the Thursday one”.
Her name was Sas Vassie, so I continued looking for interesting names. At this point a man arrived late, so I updated him on everything thus far and asked his name. It was Eran Bar-Meir. This show was getting more and more interesting.When I tried to pronounce Eran’s full name back to him, he was so impressed he said simply “Nice!” in a laid back Israeli way that saw it become the catchphrase of the night.
Eran was from Israel, so I then began to seek out other nationalities and found a Norwegian lady and a South African lady sitting next to a young man who didn’t really know where he was from. His name was Wilf Mountfield. “Nice!”
I posited that there can’t be many people in the world by the name of Wilf Mountfield, so pulled out my phone and googled his name. I immediately found an embarrassing photo of him on facebook, so I attempted the same with Sas Vassie and found she used to be a travel journalist in Buenos Aires.
I took a chance and googled Eran Bar-Meir and almost uncovered a scandal. I found a Boston Herald article that implicated Dr Eran Bar-Meir in a hospital scandal. At the risk of continuing I pressed on, and found that our Eran was actually the hero of the day, uncovering shady goings on at a hospital. This was all getting to be better than Grays Anatomy.
Understandably, Eran didn’t want to be recognised:
I then tweeted my followers to ask what someone by the name of Wilf Mountfield should do for an occupation. Amongst the replies were such suggestions as lumberjack, handlebar moustache waxer, oyster shucker, harpsichord player and crazy inventor. Fellow comedian The Boy With Tape On His Face offered: The Boy sees the anagram of his name is Dim Fellow Unfit. So he probably doesn’t have a job.
However, there were more than a few people who thought Wilf should be a World War One RAF pilot, with a scarf flying over his shoulder.I decided to take that photo.
I managed to muster up a scarf, a jacket and glasses from the audience, and from backstage found a hat and a wig. I then drew on a pencil moustache using eyeliner from an audience member, and my Norwegian friend Ellen held the scarf out for me. And this is what we got:
I asked Wilf if he would like to be a date option for Emily – the woman who won the dating competition with Alistair – the guy who was in the audience on opening night and was actively looking for love, who then cancelled said date with Emily, leaving her looking for a new date. Wilf said yes.
Emily if you’re out there, contact me and let me know what night you would like to meet your suitors.
I then turned to old business, and regaled the audience with the story of Sachin, a guy in last night’s show who worked for a Prostate Cancer Charity. You may remember I asked for twitter suggestions for a slogan for said charity, and wound up with “No Joke, Be A Bloke, Get A Poke”.
Thanks to a number of people that made their own version of that poster using a photo of Sachin from last night’s blog, including one from Michael. I printed it off before the show, took it onstage and pondered how to take it to a wider audience. Then it hit me. Product placement!
I turned to Simon and asked what productions he had coming up. “Oh” he replied “the new Batman movie…and Downton Abbey”. I gave Simon the poster and asked him to place it somewhere, anywhere in the background of a scene. He said he would try, and you know what, I think he just might.
I then took a few more shots of the crowd for posterity including this one of Steve who is a long time fan/stalker:
and finally, Norwegian Ellen, who waited until the very end of the show to reveal an unusual party trick:
As soon as this photo was taken, Eran yelled “Do it again… slowly”
The entire audience turned to him and yelled “Nice!”
And that, my friends was the show. Now I have to say that normally these Mess Around shows also include a couple of stories thrown in about famous people and not so famous people, and normally these stories take up anywhere between fifteen and twenty minutes of the show. Tonight, as with last Tuesday, I hit the 60 minute mark of the show without having told any of them.
When I explained this to the audience, a woman piped up – “Mention it on your blog”. I replied that she needn’t worry, I’ll be telling everyone about this. I may then have suggested that I would be singing “We Are The Champions” in a cab all the way home, while pleasuring myself, as I thought about the show.
It will please you to know I didn’t do that, but we did all finish the show by singing “Here Comes The Sun” accompanied by the music from an audience member’s iPhone.
When I did get home by the way, I did a quick twitter search to see what people thought of the show, and amongst others, found these tweets: