It’s done. It’s over. The 2011 UK Tour of Mess Around finished up in Oxford tonight and here’s what happened.
It all started with a guy called Phil, who looked to me to be wearing a Spiderman Tracksuit Top. I called him on stage and found out that he was studying to be a Sports Coach. This drew a disgruntled sigh from another audience member, Tom (I think) who revealed himself to be studying Sports Science.
It seemed Tom’s main problem was that Sports Coaches study for way less time per week, but whinge about it way more. Phil felt victimised at first but his whole stance changed when he realised that the Sports Science student would probably end up as a PE Teacher.
I tried to take photos of Phil looking victimised then cocky, but as you can see his acting skills left a little to be desired.
First, scared and worried
Then smug and cocky
Can you spot the difference?
I then asked him to pose like Spiderman
I know. Uncanny.
I called Sports Science guy to the stage and decided to pit him against Sports Coaching guy in a battle to the end. But first the three of us posed for a photo of what could have been if I had stayed as a Tennis Coach and never started doing comedy.
We started with a thumb wrestling competition, and I have to say it was an easy win for Sports Science (Tom, I think his name was Tom). Even his pose afterwards suggested he was happy with himself.
I called an interval at this point, although not before engaging in some secret celebratory card-based shenanigans that must be kept secret for a few weeks. Those of you at the gig, shhhhhhhhh, don’t tell anyone what happened please.
During the interval I asked people to send in some messages for a lady called Louise, who was at the show with her her partner Jason. You may remember them from this photo at the Swindon show:
Well, that night Jason gave me Louise’s autograph book and I said I would get as many signatures in it as I could. Sadly, I only managed one – Author and XFM DJ Danny Wallace. I offered to take the autograph book with me back to Australia and spend the next six months filling it with as many famous names as I could.
I tried to make up for it tonight though, by getting some well-wishes sent from around the world to Louise, as she had recently been in hospital. My twitter account was swamped, and included such gems as: