They Say It’s Your Birthday…

You know what? I seem to be creating a bizarre rod for my own back with this tour.

Every night I walk on stage, wondering what I can possibly create from another audience, and yet somehow every night something or someone makes something special out of nothing. Tonight it was the beautiful and ornate Hazlitt Theatre in Maidstone, and the someone special was a man called Ian.

Ian was sitting in the second row, but was my focus of attention since no one was sitting in the front row. It was immediately brought to my attention that it was Ian’s birthday, but it seemed nothing too special was happening. No party, not even a cake as yet, and the person sitting with Ian wasn’t even his girlfriend. In fact, she was engaged to someone else, and was waiting for her fiance to return from Edinburgh.

So I suggested that we should all make it a special night for Ian. I gave twenty quid to Simon in the third row and asked him to go out and buy a cake in the interval. I promised to raid the backstage vending machine for some party snacks, and asked the audience to return from the interval with whatever they thought was appropriate as either a present or more party supplies.

I then spent the interval tweeting a request for my twitter followers to send in their birthday message for Ian, and tell me where they were tweeting from. Occasionally I could hear bursts of applause from the auditorium, and assumed people were living up to the challenge. For my part I bought a packet of Hula Hoops and some sweets form the vending machine, and wrapped up a CD that came with a music magazine I was reading on the train.

When I took to the stage, I found: a stack of Hazlitt Arts Centre balloons (thank you Rhiannon), a pint of beer, a little tub of ice cream, two pots of vaseline, a small rubber ball, a condom and lubricant (“non-tacky”), plenty of sweets, some pens, as well as the cake with candles and some chocolate biscuits. Not only did Simon bring me the change, he also brought back a receipt for tax purposes.

As for the tweets – well I have to say I was overwhelmed by the response. There were messages from as far afield as Canada, Germany, Estonia, Portugal, Japan, France, Ireland, and of course Scotland, England and Australia. I will attach them all at the end of this blog – partly so that you can read them, but mainly so that Ian has a copy of them all.

The show finished with the balloons being distributed, the sweets being thrown into the crowd by the “emo kids” at the side, and Ian handing out slices of cake after I left the stage.

All in all, a fairly eventful night – and all because of the audience, both in the venue and around the world. I am truly chuffed that people seem to be embracing this attitude of spontaneous silliness that is erupting every night, and it makes me think that next year I am just gonna spend an hour messing around with the audience. Thank you to those who tweeted, or took part in the night itself.

Tomorrow is Sheffield, and Stockton on Friday – I’m not sure what will happen. Who knows?- I may surprise everyone and actually do my show.

For now, I leave you with a photo of a very happy Ian. Happy Birthday mate. And thanks everyone.

Adam

2. chriscubed @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday to Ian from Chris (I was in the audience, and ate some cake!)about 1 hour ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

3. ellie_tiernan @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday!about 2 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

4. Bianchan @adamhillscomedy ☆Happy Birthday Ian☆ I hope your day is full of awesomeness! If you were in Yokohama, I’d buy you some cheesecake! ☺about 2 hours ago from Twittelator

5. delphatic @adamhillscomedy wasn’t sure what to expect tonight as friend had bought tickets, but had a blast tonight! Fantastic show& great atmosphere!about 2 hours ago from Echofon

6. Pet13 Had an amazing time at Adam hills show! He was sooo funny! Had a great time with my amazing girl! Love you Alice… @adamhillscomedyabout 2 hours ago from Echofon

7. luxromanov @adamhillscomedy You sure he’s Ian? He looks like a Ken. Happy bday from Zimbabwe. My mum forgot my 20th so no one’s as pathetic as me.about 2 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

8. coffeebeantimes RT @bootlegnews London #coffee tip: @adamhillscomedy: Flat White in Soho (Berwick St) is one of the best coffee places in UK!about 2 hours ago from twitterfeed

9. clairewhill @adamhillscomedy Aw, that’s an awesome thing you did for Ian on his birthday!about 2 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

10. euphonic @adamhillscomedy happy Birthday Ian! Hope you’re enjoying Adam’s show!about 2 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

11. bootlegnews London #coffee tip: @adamhillscomedy: Flat White in Soho (Berwick St) is one of the best coffee places in UK!about 2 hours ago from web

12. bootlegnews Just got back from @adamhillscomedy‘s show in Maidstone. Awesome show. Happy birthday to Ian!about 2 hours ago from web

13. jadehurd @adamhillscomedy i got drunk and dropped a new widescreen TV from two floors up and painted a poodle with strawberry jam i was groundedabout 3 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

14. pandorapink @adamhillscomedy happy birthday to the lovely ian, from rachel in birmingham 🙂about 3 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

15. Hathorsdaughter @adamhillscomedy Merry birthday Ian 🙂about 3 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

16. RyannBarker @adamhillscomedy happy bday ian. Could be worse, i’m at home watching peter Andre … Wanna swap!?about 3 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

17. sincerelykirsty @adamhillscomedy http://twitpic.com/lesoj – He’s got Fruit Pastilles and a pint, what could possibly go wrong!about 3 hours ago from TwitPic

18. thisisdebpotts @adamhillscomedy happy birthday Ian from Debbie in Newcastle Australia have a great day xabout 3 hours ago from Twitterrific in reply to adamhillscomedy

19. thatkristianguy @adamhillscomedy Hahahaabout 3 hours ago from Twitterrific in reply to adamhillscomedy

20. Gr3ant @adamhillscomedy You’re welcome Ian. Looks like a good birthday haul.about 3 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

21. Deansmum @adamhillscomedy Hey Adam, Happy Birthday Wishes for Ian from me in NSW Australia !!!!about 3 hours ago from Hahlo in reply to adamhillscomedy

22. bykimbo @adamhillscomedy http://twitpic.com/lesoj – He has cake. Looks like a good birthday to me!about 3 hours ago from TwitPic

23. stephishere @adamhillscomedy http://twitpic.com/lesoj – *sureabout 4 hours ago from TwitPic

24. stephishere @adamhillscomedy http://twitpic.com/lesoj – Woah, susre he has enough food… and vaseline 0_oabout 4 hours ago from TwitPic

25. damienshaw @adamhillscomedy wow – look like you’re having a real party!about 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

26. 96BitterSweet @adamhillscomedy aah poor guy, happy birthday, Ian *thumbs up* -Sophie, Derbyabout 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

27. EmilyCoco @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday Ian from Dublin.about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

28. bundgaardF @adamhillscomedy: No-one should have a lonely birthday; Happy birthday from Denmark!about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck

29. jadehurd @adamhillscomedy HAPPY BIRTDAY IAN LIFE AIN’T SO BAD I DONT EVEN GET A BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR FROM JADE IN LEIGHTON BUZZARDabout 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

30. TeeBeeMee @adamhillscomedy happy birthday Ian, Emma Jane, Perth, Scotland!!!about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

31. hardertospell @adamhillscomedy happy birthday Ian! From my baby cousin stuck in hospital and I!about 4 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to adamhillscomedy

32. Franki85 @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday ian! Much love from frances in belfast! Xxx.about 4 hours ago from Snaptu in reply to adamhillscomedy

33. thatkristianguy @adamhillscomedy happy birthday Ian from Brisbane. Cheer up! Apparently dance music is only good if you’re Ian.about 4 hours ago from Twitterrific in reply to adamhillscomedy

34. therossmcl @Gr3ant Yes, I just sent another to @adamhillscomedy . Sometimes Twitter can suck. All I wanted to do was wish someone a happy birthday!about 4 hours ago from web in reply to Gr3ant

35. xXxnimixXx @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday Ian! From Naomi in Derby, England =Dabout 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

36. erd10 @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday from Durham xabout 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

37. therossmcl @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday to Ian from Ross in Glasgow. I’ve asked Grant to tweet too.about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

38. Gr3ant @adamhillscomedy Ross is trying to say Happy Birthday to Ian, but his tweet has vanished.about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

39. Gr3ant @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian from Grant in Glasgow. Ross told me to do this. Have a good one Ian.about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

40. TabataShou @adamhillscomedy Happy Lonely Birthday Ian-in-Adam-Hills’-Crowd! Best Wishes from Germany where its cold and dark outside!about 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

41. theohsocurlyone @adamhillscomedy Hello, and happy birthday! Whenever life gets you down, just remember you’re not Nick Griffin.about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

42. dawnb14 @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian, you will have a great night!!! Birthday greetings from Hull xxabout 4 hours ago from web

43. BrookSolja @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday Ian from Michael in Ireland. xoxoabout 4 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to adamhillscomedy

44. damienshaw @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian – you’ve made a most excellent choice in spending your evening in the company of Adam Hills! (Didcot)about 4 hours ago from Echofon

45. apurplepatch @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian from my bed! (I don’t think that’s what you mean, but oh well)about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

46. astewart31 @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday Ian from Aaron in Sydneyabout 4 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to adamhillscomedy

47. cbq @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday Ian! From Cheryl and Anthony in Edinburgh xxabout 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

48. TrickyV @adamhillscomedy happy birthday ian from a londoner in the netherlands! fantastic show in regents park this summer too thanks Adam!!!about 4 hours ago from mobile web

49. Wil_Anderson @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian! Be glad you are not here in LA it’s raining and it would put your candles out and make your cake soggy!about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

50. wannaV @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday Ian. It wouldn’t be so lonely if you had a decent name..i would sue your parents. Love & kisses from Londonabout 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

51. fatherbananas @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday Ian! Get Adam to give you a lapdance, he did with Iris. Hayley from Oldham, in London.about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

52. Jess_Stevenson @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday audience guy! Here in Edinburgh where I saw your show at the Festival. Hope Ian is having a good night.about 4 hours ago from API in reply to adamhillscomedy

53. matthews24 @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian from Maroubra Beach in Sydney–the sun has just come up and it’s going to be a beautiful day!about 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

54. JetSparrow @adamhillscomedy All the best to Ian on his birthday and all the rest, much love from NYabout 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

55. chrissie_ @adamhillscomedy happy bday Ian from kirribilli!?about 4 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to adamhillscomedy

56. LucyDAdams @adamhillscomedy happy birthday ian love from Edinburgh !about 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

57. bechawkings @adamhillscomedy happy birthday ian, from bec – sydney, australia.about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

58. courtney_gibson @adamhillscomedy Lighten up Ian – it’s your birthday. From Courtney, Ivy & Eddie in Barcelona.about 4 hours ago from web

59. Keef76 @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday, Ian! How can you be lonely at an Adam Hills gig, though? Keef and Chris, Glenrothes.about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

60. tabitha_b @adamhillscomedy HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN~! <3 <3 <3 (Tabitha in Northamptonshire)about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

61. alphabeta85 @adamhillscomedy happy birthday ian from York 🙂about 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

62. lauralu13 @adamhillscomedy Awww poor Ian. Happy Birthday from Laura, Glagowabout 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

63. kmlamb85 @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday from Arizona, Ian! Today’s also my father’s birthday. As well as the birthday of Fox Mulder on The X-Files.about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

64. mrschucknoblet @adamhillscomedy HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN! Love Courtney in Chicago!! Hello to you too Adam! <3about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

65. rinoa2530 @adamhillscomedy Wish Ian happy birthday, from Kay in Colchester.about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

66. eevika @adamhillscomedy No one should be lonely on his birthday! Happy birthday to him from Estonia! 🙂about 4 hours ago from API in reply to adamhillscomedy

67. AndreiaRFPS @adamhillscomedy happy b’day ti Ian with wishes of lots of love and success, and presents too 😉 all the way from Lisbon, Portugal.about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

68. MelSparkles @adamhillscomedy I’m sending Ian birthday hugs from Swindon and suggesting he buys a big birthday cake and eats the whole thing. Xabout 4 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to adamhillscomedy

69. DSVella @adamhillscomedy happy birthday ian!! If Adam is good as he was in the fringe your in for a uplifting laugh! Dave in Bedford.about 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

70. ChicaLolita @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday Ian! At least you’re sharing it with Adam Hills! Love, Chica from London.about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

71. Jestiki @adamhillscomedy happy birthday Ian, from Jess in Hull =)about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

72. Knaw_Says @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday to Ian from Dundee. Remember, no man is an island, except the Isle Of Man.about 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

73. Neal55 @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday Ian, you DO have the great Adam Hills for entertainment. From Neal In Farnborough, Hants, UK.about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

74. burntbroccoli @adamhillscomedy Hello Ian, I love you. No, really. I’m not high at all. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Happy Birthday (London-ish)about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

75. bykimbo @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday lonely Ian, from the Cornish south coast.about 4 hours ago from HootSuite in reply to adamhillscomedy

76. JulieFrog @adamhillscomedy sending Ian birthday wishes from Dublin – slainte!about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

77. MsOverlyBritish @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday from Rome Ian…YOU’RE NOT ALONEEEE!!about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

78. danbeames @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian, are you having a drink? I bet you are! Oh Ian. That’s so ‘you’. I miss you, Ian. Dan in Gloucestershireabout 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

79. sincerelykirsty @adamhillscomedy Happy birthday Ian! If it makes you feel any better, it’s Margaret Thatcher’s birthday today also! Kirsty in Liverpool xxabout 4 hours ago from web

80. rich_booth @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian from Richard and Kathryn in Stafford !!!about 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

81. abi281 @Adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian! From Abi in Charcottabout 4 hours ago from mobile web

82. CoventryBot @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian! (Misha in Coventry): @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian! (Misha in Coventry) http://bit.ly/4sLV6Gabout 4 hours ago from twitterfeed

83. Sophie_Elaine @adamhillscomedy HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN all the way from good old yorkshire #stargirlinspaceabout 4 hours ago from mobile web

84. Bethhh17 @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian! 🙂 – Beth (in Nottingham)about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

85. Sophie_Elaine @adamhillscomedy HARRY BIRTHDAY IAN all the way from good old yorkshire #stargirlinspaceabout 4 hours ago from mobile web

86. thezomeister @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian! Have a wonderful day. Have a drink on me. Lots of hugs, Zoe in Plymouth xoxoxoxoabout 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

87. Zosie @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian! From Zoe, in Bathabout 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

88. rnnbrwn @adamhillscomedy – I think I speak for the whole of Glasgow when I wish Ian a very happy birthday!about 4 hours ago from TwitterGadget in reply to adamhillscomedy

89. BlueFruit @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday sweetie!!! Demand a hug from Adam to cheer you up 🙂 Much love from Vicky in Bolton xxxabout 4 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to adamhillscomedy

90. iamanicelady @adamhillscomedy happy birthday ian from helen in montargis in central france! 😀 xxabout 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

91. MistressShelly @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday to Awesome Ian guy! Lots of hugs from me, here in Somerset 🙂about 4 hours ago from Twadget

92. serellie @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday, Ian! *smooches from Canada*about 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

93. andrewdgray @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian! Andrew from Glasgow!about 4 hours ago from web in reply to adamhillscomedy

94. h2osarah @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian! <3 Sarah (in Canada)about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

95. jesterevilgnome @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian! Everyone in Glasgow says hi! *hugs*about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

96. SarahEGorman @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday from Sheffield, Ian!! 🙂about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

97. rachel0207 @adamhillscomedy aww Happy Birthday to Ian from Rachel in Edinburghabout 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

98. superdan94 @adamhillscomedy tell him to have a good one from Glasgow 😉about 4 hours ago from Echofon in reply to adamhillscomedy

99. comedyfreak @adamhillscomedy happy bday ian im in scotlandabout 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

100. cleslie92 @adamhillscomedy Greetings to Ian from Bonny Scotland!about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy

101. howlieT @adamhillscomedy Happy Birthday Ian! (Misha in Coventry)about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to adamhillscomedy