Just a quickie

Just a quickie


I’d normally wait til the end of the week for the next blog, but here’s a quickie about last night’s gig.

It was at Felsted College in Essex, a lovely school that has an excellent drama department, headed by one Charles Lee. Chas, as he is known, takes the kids to the Edinburgh Fringe every year, brings shows to Felsted, and takes the drama department productions on tour around the world – including an American Women’s prison.

Anywhoo, every year Chas invites me to perform at Felsted, and every year I accept. The audience is generally made up of fifty per cent students and fifty per cent adults, and are always tops fun to play to.

Last night was no exception, but as I chatted to various students I came to realise they all had really cool names. It started with a thirteen year old called Dirk Holmes (who I thought sounded suspiciously like a porn star. In fact it wouldn’t surprise me if his parents combined Dirk Diggler from Boogie Nights with John Holmes. He didn’t know who either of those people were)

Dirk’s brothers were called Brock, Garth and Tor (who I decided were an American soapie character, a country and western singer, and a Swedish explorer, respectively)

I then compiled a list of random audience members’ names, and came up with the following:

Benedict Gibbon
Madeleine Seacombe
Guy Robinson Warry
Dominic Ian Tristan Oxnam
Grant Tyler Polkinghorne
Kiri Samaranayake
Thomas Henry Fingal Edwards
Bertram Mortimore Nafial Wells (absent)

I was also approached by Edgar Jonathan Geoffrey Burchem after the show, who informed me there is a species of Zebra named after his family.

My two favourite names however were:

Charlotte Webb


Hugonaut George Hilbery Chaplin

Brilliant! I don’t know what happened thirteen-odd years ago to give rise to such names, but well done their parents!

Gotta run now, off to Milton Keynes tonight. See ya.

Adam Christopher Hills


  • David R. E. Bizley

    30.09.2009 at 06:55 Reply

    I used to go to Felsted and was lucky enough to see you perform twice there…I also have a far longer name than is really necessary; I think it’s a school tradition.

  • Belinda Meighan

    01.10.2009 at 23:00 Reply

    I have to be honest I had never heard of you until I went to Felstead school on Monday night….I thought you were hilarious and could have quite happily listened all night to the ridiculous audience members names! I particularly loved the inflatable boy joke (clearly crap at telling jokes and its the only one I could remember & recite after!). BTW you’re not bad eye candy to look at for an hour & a half!! Enjoy the rest of the tour.

  • Jamie Stuchfield

    05.10.2009 at 06:51 Reply

    Absolutely hilarious. Found every minute Hysterical especially about the Paralympics. Hope to see you there next year.

  • Robert Keightley

    11.10.2009 at 02:15 Reply

    Hey, kinda doin this without toms permission but here goes – sorry if this offends u tom!

    Toms name is awsome

    Thomas Campbell Napia Lee

    I think thats a funny name but i mean who doesnt!

  • Ollie Hones

    12.10.2009 at 06:30 Reply

    I know a girl called Emily Jodie Frenchie Garbaloda, I was confused a lot when i met her, good night though

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