Mess Around Edinburgh – August 25 “Alistairway To Heaven”

Mess Around Edinburgh – August 25 “Alistairway To Heaven”


Here’s what happened tonight. Mainly, I found a guy called Alistair coming in late who looked like a rugby player. I asked him what he did for a living and he replied “I make prosthetics”. I told him he may come in handy.

Another latecomer lady walked past and when asked what she thought he did for a job, told me “He’s a dentist, obviously”

I then took a photo, tweeted it and asked people what they thought Alistair’s job was:


Answers included:

  1. PontoonDock Prince Edward look-a-like
  2. camillabrokking – Husbeing thinks he’s a dog groomer, I reckon he’s a postie.
  3. Carol34UK Don’t know. But I know what I’d like him to do!
  4. greido157 – Caber Tosser
  5. J_L_E – rugger player
  6. twistedsoup he’s clearly the lead ballerina for the Bolshoi ballet
  7. serellie – Horse Whisperer – those look like tender hands.
  8. jadehurd – got to be a fireman those guys are hench! tell him i think he’s hot and ask if he’s single lolx
  9. Ajcninja pastry chef
  10. Bethhh17 Rugby player?
  11. Yogzotot Design Hallmark greeting cards
  12. bykimbo – The t-shirt & shoulders say fireman. The face says accountant. In a good way. ;o)
  13. TheAmereMortal Or maybe a Dental Hygene Technician
  14. MrAaronPriest Poses as a firefighter in those firefighter calenders, but is actually a banker.
  15. flumcake wonderbra model?
  16. ComedyNerd That stance with the cocky grin? Male stripper.

Hmmm, a few rugby suggestions were close, as was the dental reference.

I then found Mark in the front row, a man who was born in Australia but had moved to Scotland. To test his accent I asked for a Scottish sentence, at which an audience member yelled something wholly incomprehensible.

Alistair then informed me it was a Robbie Burns poem, and proceeded to recite the lines beautifully. He transcribed them for Mark, and from what I can decipher it was:

“Wee sleekit cooring timerous beastie, oh what a panic is in thy breastie”


It was then onto the saga of Honker, the stuffed toy that is now raising money for the Royal Hospital for Sick Children. After last night’s show a lady called Alison, who you may remember from this photo:


…left a card to say that she would like to make the opening bid for the Irn Bru miniature taxi signed by Ian Rankin. She left 20 pounds, and said she hoped we would make a lot more.

I can now announce two exciting things:

1) The auction of Irn Bru taxis will take place at an extra show of Mess Around, this Sunday at 11.30pm at my venue Rainy Hall. Tix are 10 pounds each, and all proceeds from the auction and tickets sales will go to The Sick Kids. There will be special comedy guests too. You can buy tix now from the Assembly Box Office.

2) The second taxi was signed tonight – by Scottish band Biffy Clyro.

There will be five for auction on Sunday, and I will let you know who the three remaining signatures are.

On an even lovelier note, Alistair donated another 20 pounds after the show to the Sick Kids, and a lady called Sheona chipped in an extra 10.

Of course you can donate too – by clicking here DONATE

That’s all for now, but I’m looking forward to seeing where this ends up



  • Tenielle

    26.08.2010 at 10:08 Reply

    Ahh I was going to say “something to do with feet” when I answered but I had to explain what a cobbler was and couldn’t fit it in!

  • Lisa Apicella

    26.08.2010 at 17:52 Reply

    Hey Adam, just to say I think that its a great thing that you & “The Honk” are doing! Eight years ago when my son was born he had to get a Heart Op and was really well looked after by the Sick Kids hospital staff!!
    Oh, was at your show last Friday(20th), it was fantastic!!! Keep up the good work, I’ve never laughed so much!

  • Jimmy from Bells Beach

    27.08.2010 at 08:48 Reply

    Had a great time at your show. I’ve forgotten the crop scientist’s name already but I will keep the memories of Alistair the prosthetic making rugby player, Vinny who’s ” in travel”, the cast of the lesbian bath house and Marc – of the confused accent long “within my breastie”. Adam – thanks – it good to see a piss taking Aussie made good. You lucky bugger! F%$k you and f%$k the lot of you!

  • Jessp

    10.09.2010 at 20:48 Reply

    Hey hey! I was one of the many Aussies at the show and I laughed until I cried! Whenever I swear, I now think of you trying to say ‘pook’ instead of dropping an f-bomb.
    Thanks for a brilliant show. And that Alistair… he’s hot!

Post a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.