Mess Around Edinburgh – August 6 “Honk if you love Honker”

Mess Around Edinburgh – August 6 “Honk if you love Honker”

Well tonight’s show really seemed to take off.

It all started with a man in the front row who told me he worked in Disaster Recovery. Actually, it started with a man in the back row who applauded with his arms outstretched when I took to the stage, but I got distracted by the guy in the front row, who told me Disaster Recovery mainly consisted of humidity-related disasters. For example, when humidity causes computers to seize up, thus stopping companies from doing business, John steps in. I know, thrilling.

Turns out the guy in the back row was a massively built Rugby League player, a fact that caused a woman in the audience to squeal in delight. Since he was married, and she was desperate, I asked him to recreate a Rugby League scene on stage with me, for her pleasure. Sadly I forgot that he was about 26 and I am now 40, so he challenged me to get past him on stage while he tried to tackle me.

Here are the results, as photographed by the Disaster Recovery man:



The show was then interrupted by a man who came down the aisle towards me, and said “Mate, if I don’t go to the toilet I’m gonna piss me pants”. Yes, he was an Aussie.

His name was Adam, and after unceremoniously exiting the room, then returning just as unceremoniously, I took a before and after shot of him. First, before the wee:


Then after:



I then told the audience about what had happened last night. About how I found a guy who was a fungi expert, and about how someone else had given me a home made stuffed toy called Honker for my baby daughter. I admitted to them, as I will to you now, that I felt bad because I didn’t find a way to turn Fungi Man into a star throughout the Festival as I had in Melbourne earlier this year with Chris Hughes the IT Manager.

If you don’t know, my show is inspired by the fact that 100% of people knew the name of Brad and Angelina’s first biologically born child (Shiloh) at a Quiz Night I once hosted.

I wanted to make someone famous during the Fringe, more famous than Shiloh Pitt, but Fungi Man was only in town for a few days, so he didn’t seem to be the right person. It was only as I wrote last nights blog that I looked down at Honker, and had a flash.

I told tonight’s audience that I wanted to make Honker as famous as possible by the end of the Fringe, while raising money for charity. Although bemused,  some people seemed to go with it, so I asked for a local charity.

The Royal Hospital for Sick Children was a common shout – which made me very excited.

See, the first joke I ever wrote about Edinburgh was inspired by The Royal Hospital for Sick Children. I basically said it was a great place, but a very specific name. “Was there a Royal Hospital for Healthy Children?” I wondered. “Will I walk past the Edinburgh Cemetery for Dead People? Is there a Peter Andre Concert For Wankers?”

With a charity in place, and a mascot, all we needed was a photo. Sure I had this one from last night:


…but I thought we could do better. Then a woman in the front row called Polly whipped out a professional camera, and posed Honker on a stool, propped up by my bottle of Irn Bru. When I suggested a brand might not be a good idea to have in shot, someone suggested we get Irn Bru on board to help with the charity. That received a massive cheer. Polly promised to send me the photo, and as soon as I have it I will upload it on one of the blogs.

I then asked the audience for a slogan for Honker and the charity, and received “Honk for Honker” and “Bollocks To Shiloh”. Again, I think we can do better.

So, tomorrow night we will take this the next step, but here is the story thus far:

Honker will now become the mascot for a charity drive to raise money for the Royal Hospital for Sick Children. With a bit of luck Irn Bru will help.

Actually that’s as far as I’ve got.

No’ bad for the second night though.

Last night I was worried that I didn’t have a goal for the Fringe. Now I do. I’ll keep you updated.



  • Papa CJ

    07.08.2010 at 11:10 Reply

    We love you Adam. Can’t wait to see your show again this year.

    Papa CJ

  • polli Isherwood

    07.08.2010 at 17:57 Reply

    Hi Adam
    The snaps of Honker are on your official facebook page. I would love to be Honkers official photographer. :0)

    Great show

    Love Polli

  • Kirsten

    07.08.2010 at 19:41 Reply

    I enjoyed the show last night. It made me want to come back later in the run to see how the campaign is doing. And that makes me suspicious that that was your plan all along!

  • Rob Earl

    07.08.2010 at 21:15 Reply

    You should get your official show images changed to a picture of Honker! Then he’d appear on reviews and listings websites (ie.

    Also, your email address ( isn’t working.

  • Lynda

    07.08.2010 at 22:17 Reply

    Polli’s photos of Honker are great. Perhaps Honker needs his own Twitter account and/or Facebook page?

  • dinoshoaur

    08.08.2010 at 03:57 Reply

    the show last night was amazing…and i actually did buy tickets to see it later in the campaign! excited to see how honker’s getting on with raising money!

  • Justin

    08.08.2010 at 09:09 Reply

    Spreading the word about Honker on my twitter and Facebook also changed my profile pic to the gig photo from last night which was great by the way loved the whole ad lip thing quality

  • Tom Curry

    08.08.2010 at 09:17 Reply


    I’ve set up a page on the site “Just Giving”. It allows people to give directly to the Sick Kids Friends Foundation. I’ve uploaded the photo from your blog of Honkers and one of yourself.

    I’ve started the ball rolling with £25 of my own money.

    The link is

    Show was brilliant tonight. Hope Barrs (Irn Bru) can help.



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