Mess Around Edinburgh – August 7 “Pubic Image Ltd”

Mess Around Edinburgh – August 7 “Pubic Image Ltd”

Hi there

And welcome to another showblog from my Edinburgh 2010 season.

I began tonight’s show by explaining to the audience that I had chosen a smaller venue than usual so that I could test a theory that the members of the audience are interesting and worth chatting to. A guy in the front row turned to his mate and said “I’m not” so I set out to prove him wrong.

A quick series of questions found that his name was Ross, he came from the south side of Glasgow, he worked as a project manager for a defense company, and he was sucking in his stomach. Turns out there were about a dozen people from the same workplace, all of whom knew Ross, none of whom had slept with him, and one of whom accused him of having lego hair.

After fifteen minutes of chat with Ross and his workmates, I decided that he was indeed interesting. However, in order to measure how interesting I decided to compare him with a random audience member who turned out to be called John.

John was from Livingstone and worked in food distribution. Clearly at this point Ross was winning the interestingness competition. I asked John’s mates what was interesting about him and they said he had highlights in his hair. Ross was still in front.

I brought John to the stage and found out he was forty five. Still Ross. I then asked John if he had any grey pubes yet, so he offered to show me.

That’s right, he turned his back to the crowd, lowered his jeans and showed me his pubic hair.

I didn’t notice any greys, but I did notice something unusual. His whole pubic region seemed to have been recently shaved. John confirmed that it had been shaved as recently as a week and a half ago. I asked why. Someone shouted “It makes it look bigger.” John said he shaves it every month for hygiene purposes. Then added “The wife was sick of pulling them out of her teeth”.


John won.

Oh, and I took a photo of his pubes, just so you would know I wasn’t lying:


I also took a photo of John and Ross, and was gonna ask you who you thought the pubes belonged to, but midway through the photo Ross began to point at him:


It was a strange way to conduct a show but it did prove my point – that the audience is very interesting.

I then jumped back into my mission for this season – which is to use this stuffed toy called Honker that was made for my baby by an audience member:


to raise money for The Royal Hospital For Sick Children.

I asked a woman in the front row called Laura to take a photo of Honker on her phone, then go home and create a facebook page for him, as per a suggestion from Polli after last night’s show. Laura promised to do so, and said she would post a link to the page after this blog.

I reiterated to the crowd that I want to get Irn Bru*(see footnote 1) on board to help us with sponsorship, and someone suggested they should make an ad featuring Honker. Another woman called Anne-Marie told me she worked for the NHS in Lothian, and that they have both a newsletter and a facebook page that could promote Honker and his cause.

Then after the show I received a note backstage from an audience member with the phone number of a man that works for the advertising agency that promotes Irn Bru. I will follow that up first thing Monday morning.

To top it all off, I just received a comment on last nights blog from a man called Tom Curry that said:


I’ve set up a page on the site “Just Giving”. It allows people to give directly to the Sick Kids Friends Foundation. I’ve uploaded the photo from your blog of Honkers and one of yourself. I’ve started the ball rolling with £25 of my own money.

The link is

Show was brilliant tonight. Hope Barrs (Irn Bru) can help.

Cheers, Tom”

So there you have it people – there is now a Just Giving page to keep track of the money donated by the general public. As soon as I finish this post I will click on and donate 100 pounds myself. There is no target as yet, and The Royal Hospital for Sick Children know nothing about it, nor do the people at Irn Bru. But as Paul Kelly said – “From little things big things grow” *(see footnote 2)

Please feel free to donate, or become facebook friends with Honker once the page is up, or just keep reading the blogs. Whatever happens, it will be interesting.


* Footnote 1: For those non-Scots, Irn Bru is an orange-coloured soft drink made from girders that seems to be a mixture of Creaming Soda, Orange Cough Syrup and a bolt of lightning up the arse. It’s tops. In fact Scotland is one of the few conutries in the world where Coca Cola isn;t the nimber one beverage. Irn Bru is.

*Footnote 2: For non-Aussies, Paul Kelly is quite simply Australia’s best singer-songwriter ever. Recommended songs – From Little Things Big Things Grow, Darlin’ It Hurts, To Her Door…ah bugger it, buy a Best Of.


  • Tenielle

    08.08.2010 at 10:39 Reply

    Just donated £2 – as I said in the comment there, I don’t know the exchange rate and I know I have a tiny amount (no more than AU$6) in my bank account but I wanted to donate 🙂 Feels good to help, even a little!

  • debbie

    08.08.2010 at 11:39 Reply

    oh my god brill show tonight so happy the pics are up he he x

  • debbie

    08.08.2010 at 11:44 Reply

    love it

  • Kevin

    08.08.2010 at 14:57 Reply

    You hear about this so much in Australia and I’ve wondered if other countries support their children’s hospitals. It is great to see it happening in Scotland, and possibly Great Britain as a whole.
    We have a little one who is in and out of appointments in the Royal Children’s in Brisbane which is quite draining on the resources. It hurts to not be able to donate to these worthy causes so we always provide some moral support and quite often a shoulder or an ear whenever we are attending appointments.
    The support from the staff is always great and given the workload, thanks to our “lovely” Premier I’m surprised there aren’t more sore heads by the end of the day.

    To all those who work in children’s hospitals, you probably don’t hear it that often, but your doing a great job. Keep it up

  • Tansy

    08.08.2010 at 15:17 Reply
  • Kirsten

    08.08.2010 at 19:44 Reply

    The other thing about Irn Bru is that it’s the best hangover cure ever. Trust me, I’m from a nation of drinkers. We know our hangover cures.

  • Anne-Marie

    08.08.2010 at 20:08 Reply

    Love the show, love the concept. When you’re ready give me a shout. Back at my desk tomorrow so could start making a few phonecalls. Just need to check you’re ok with what I’ll be up to ! I hae also several other cunning plans …if you’re up for them:)

  • Edinburgh Foody

    08.08.2010 at 20:50 Reply

    How about setting up a Twitter account for Hooter and his own hashtag? #hooter

  • Katherine

    08.08.2010 at 22:39 Reply

    Thanks for an awesome night, I think I can speak for all the front row when I say we thoroughly enjoyed being involved and made to feel more imporant than Shiloh! Couldn’t find the facebook page yet? Potential slogan: “Let’s go Honkers!”..ok needs some work..

  • Daniel

    08.08.2010 at 23:05 Reply

    Edinburgh Foody’s suggestion of a Twitter account sounds good to me. Since Honker has little to say, Twitter is the perfect place for him to say it.

    I’ve taken the liberty of setting an account up:

    I’ll post the login details to Adam at

    Meanwhile, I’ve set the account to occasionally retweet people talking about him. And there are quite a few.

    If anyone has a bright idea for how to use this account, let me know at daniel at

    PS – Loved the story about the airline emergency instructions for deaf people.

  • Daniel

    09.08.2010 at 00:32 Reply

    PPS – the email address doesn’t seem to work, nor does So I’m not sure how to send you the Twitter account password.

  • Laura MacDonald

    09.08.2010 at 01:19 Reply

    As promised “Adam Hill’s Honker” can be found on facebook at


  • Debbie

    09.08.2010 at 01:48 Reply

    Hi Adam, the show was fantastic last night. I was there with my husband and we both really enjoyed it. Honker was a great idea, I’ll be checking out the fb site, and donating some cash. Keep up the good work

  • Debbie

    09.08.2010 at 02:41 Reply

    Hi again, not a stalker, promise… Just wondered if you’d thought about badges for the Honker/Sick Kids Appeal, Adults buy badges if they are for a good cause., Or you can buy coins from shops, supermarkets etc. These are usually for a good cause and also can be used as a coin for your shopping trolley. Kids buy badges because they like them or they’re quirky (the badges not the kids, lol). Anyway, just another idea to think about.

  • Hawkeye

    09.08.2010 at 05:45 Reply


    Fantastic show but worried about the defence of our realm!

    Come on Honker!


  • Maureen Harrison

    09.08.2010 at 18:33 Reply

    Came in to work at the Sick Kids Friends Foundation this morning and was delighted to read that a website has been set up for Adam’s Honker appeal. Money donated to this site will help to make the time which sick children and their families spend here at the hospital better by funding accomodation for parents, purchasing toys, games, computer equipment and arts and crafts materials and books for the playrooms on the wards and helping to purchase important eatra equipment like our Sat Nav for surgeons neurosurgery kit. Good on you Adam and thank you to everyone who is supporting your appeal and helping to make Sick Kids better!

  • Louise

    18.08.2010 at 22:36 Reply

    You should remind people to Gift Aid their donations! The charity gets more money as a result because it claims back the tax (perhaps you can tell my knowledge isn’t the most indepth, but that’s the general gist)
    We do it in the British Heart Foundation you see, which is why I have any idea at all, as I’m sure I wouldn’t otherwise 🙂

    Once I’ve put money in my bank account, I’ll be sure to donate 🙂 It’s a brilliant idea 🙂

    NB. A quick googling gives me:

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