Mess Around UK 2011 – London Night 1.

Mess Around UK 2011 – London Night 1.

Hi de ho everyone

Tonight was the first night of the return season of Mess Around at the Soho Theatre, and here’s what happened.

If you haven’t heard of these shows before, they are based mainly around the audience in the room, and as per usual there were plenty of interesting people with which to play.

In no particular order there was:

A couple I recognised as having been in my audience at the Soho Theatre last year, although on separate nights. That’s right, sometimes I recognise my audience. Last time they looked like this:


And this:


But tonight, they looked like this:


It was lovely to have them back.

There was also a Chinese-American-Australian who went by the name of Xiaohan Fang (pronounced Shohan Fang). Although he spent a lot of time in Australia, he had a very broad American accent, so I undertook an Eliza Doolittle-esque makeover to give him a bit of strine.

Naturally, it involved the chorus of “Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again?” by The Angels, including an Anglo-Irish version from a respectable gentleman called Danny in the third row.

Once Xiaohan managed to master the art of ocker, I then asked what he did for a living, but stopped before he gave the answer. I opined that in my head he would always be a martial arts expert, topped by Chris (see photo above) who suggested a Triad Assasin.

I then tweeted the question “What should Xiaohan Fang do for a living?”

The answers included:

bechillcomedian Vampire dentist.

TomGoodliffe ninja dentist.

deepdarkred Guard Hogwarts alongside Hagrid!

m_minna milk snakes. CLEARLY.

Svenrudloff Vampire actor. Or vet dentist for large cats

(By the way, Sven was tweeting from Germany. Well done Sven)

Then Chris from the front row tweeted:

ChrisTheConfuse i think triad killer is best!!

But I think he may have been topped by

robomam Undercover agent for a group of Chinese Dissident Dentists ?

Well done all, and well done Xiaohan, who looked like this:


Finally, there was a couple in the front row who had been brought along by their son Alistair. Of course, I made them snog just to embarrass him:


But then I decided it would be my task for the rest of this two-week run to find a date for young Alistair, a 20 year old who as far as I could tell, should be quite a hit with the ladies.

I then proceeded to take a series of shots of Alistair, firstly natural and smiling:


Then giving his best Blue Steel:


Followed by Alistair pretending to be an Aussie looking at the world with wonder:


And finally, the James Bond pose:


I now intend to make it my mission to try to find Alistair a date by the end of the run. Tomorrow night I will try to find a suitor for him, although a woman in the front row tonight seemed keen to come back later in the week if Alistair comes back too.

The show ended in a cliff-hanger – Will the lady in the front row come back? Will Alistair find love? Is Xiaohan Fang really an assassin?

Find out the answers to these questions tomorrow, after the show. And if you’re keen for a date with Alistair, let me know

Til then


PS Thanks a lot to John for this tweet after the show – Just2tall – Haven’t laughed so much at a slightly out of shape, middle aged Aussie bloke since we won the ashes. Top bloke #adamhills


  • Chris Tilbury

    21.09.2011 at 00:04 Reply

    I would just like to point out that, despite last nights slurs on my sartorial elegance perpetrated by my lovely, wonderful, intelligent, but misremembering partner, I was in fact wearing a COMPLETELY different suit and shirt. This can be clearly seen in the first and 3rd pictures! If anyone’s interested the socks and underwear are new as well! (but she still has the hot water bottle)

  • Alison Shoop

    21.09.2011 at 02:05 Reply

    Haha Chris – well they’re both very fine suits.
    By the way, for those young ladies interested in the lovely Alistair, he’s 22. It must be true – his mum said so!
    It really was a cracking show – even when Adam decided that my friend and I were a lesbian couple, carefully ignoring her (male) partner, sitting next to her. Can’t wait for Saturday when I’m going again with my hubby, both daughters and several friends.

  • Bob Ballard

    21.09.2011 at 09:31 Reply

    Brilliant night Adam…tempted to come back again – but then you can have too much of a good thing!

    Good luck with the rest of the mini-tour.

    See you back in 2012, I sincerely trust!

    Bob B

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