Mess Around UK 2011 – London Night 5 (Part 2)

Mess Around UK 2011 – London Night 5 (Part 2)

I had a feeling tonight’s ten o’clock crowd might be a little more rowdy than the earlier show – and I was right. However I soon learned that although alcohol giveth, alcohol also taketh away.

There were a few familiar faces in the crowd, some from the first show (Hello to Caz, Andrew and Lynda) but a few from last year, including a man called Jack who I vaguely remembered giving money to last year, but couldn’t remember why. Turns out it was his birthday last year and I bought him drinks. His parents then revealed that not only is it his birthday again in two days time, it is his brother Tom’s birthday tomorrow.

Tom said he is turning 22, at which a woman in the balcony by the name of Mandy said “Awww, that’s a cute age.” She was 26.

I suggested she join Tom, she said she couldn’t leave her friend in the balcony, the audience suggested her friend should go with her, I said there wasn’t room, the audience said Jack and Tom’s parents should swap with the ladies, and we had a deal.

I of course bought them all drinks, as well as a cider for an American woman who was quite insistent (she isn’t in the photo):


Unfortunately the act of buying them drinks meant I had to leave the stage to get some cash, and when I asked if anyone felt like entertaining the crowd in my absence, a lady called Cathy said “I’ll do it!”

She was an Aussie (surprise surprise) and a little tipsy (surprise surprise surprise) and immediately regretted shouting out (quadruple surprise). When I asked Cathy what she thought she would do, she replied “some stand up”. I should point out that Cathy was a scientist who works all day with blood.

The audience seemed to like the idea of her telling a few jokes,so as I rummaged around backstage only to find I had twenty quid in my pocket, Cathy told a story about how her friend left her mobile phone in the washing machine with her sheets, and actually got some laughs.

I took a photo of Cathy for the poster for her newfound comedy career:


As I attempted to get back on with the show, I noticed that Caz was a little perturbed by something. Turns out she was miffed that I didn’t buy her a drink as well, especially considering she and Andrew had come from Lancashire to see me. Mandy then piped up to say I should buy another round for the birthday boys and their ladies, and someone suggested Cathy deserved a drink as well.

As I ran backstage to my wallet again, Cathy jumped up and lead us all in a rendition of “Happy Birthday” to Tom and Jack, and I sent the door staff out to buy yet another round, in what was fast becoming quite an expensive show for me. Between the two rounds, and a tip for the venue staff, I had run up about forty quid.

The show ended with the majority of the audience of the opinion that Cathy had a career in comedy, and Tom and Jack quite pleased that they spent their birthday celebrations with ladies on their arms and drinks in their hands.

I must add that although I was knackered after two shows and keen to get home, I met some lovely people after this show in the bar, and had photos with many of them. In particular there was a doctor called Reghan who has recently completed the Great Northern Run to raise money for Muscular Dystrophy. It made me think that perhaps I should spend the rest of my own run trying to do the same (by that I mean raise money for Muscular Dystrophy).

Any suggestions on how to do that would be more than welcome.

That is all for now, I have had two whiskies while writing my blogs tonight, one for each show, and while they initially gave me the kick I needed, they are now making me sleepy. Once again, alcohol giveth, but it also taketh away.

‘night all.



  • Mandy B

    24.09.2011 at 11:40 Reply

    Sounds like a good time. I couldn’t convince you to do a show or two in Northern Ontario, could I? No? That’s ok. I need an excuse to leave this frozen wasteland anyhow. I’ll see you sometime, someplace.

  • Lynda Hull

    24.09.2011 at 17:15 Reply

    Brilliant night. Thank you!

  • Peter Tyler

    24.09.2011 at 20:33 Reply

    How about a raffle to win a signed copy of Inflatable as a way to raise money. I’d buy a ticket or two when you come to Birmingham.

  • Betty and George

    24.09.2011 at 21:00 Reply

    Yet another great night in the company of Hillsy.

    Good on ya.

    The boys say ta for the drinks and a great start to their birthday weekend.

  • Helen Martin

    25.09.2011 at 01:03 Reply

    Lol, Go Cathy!!!! We always new she was funny, but we all thought we were just weird for thinking so! Nice to know your audience is just as weird as us! ๐Ÿ™‚ hire her as an Understudy and bring her back home. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Caz & Andy

    25.09.2011 at 02:23 Reply

    Was great to see you twice last nice. It was nice you remembered me and Andy from last year. Thanks for the late Birthday drink :o)
    Hope you’ll be doing some shows up north next year. And give more than 2 weeks notice for the show dates, as it is quite expensive to sort trains and accommodation with such short notice.
    Hope the rest of Mess around is a good one for you. See you next year if you’re doing any shows. Remember to follow me on Twitter :o)

    Take care, love, Caz & Andy xx

  • Kathy

    25.09.2011 at 08:43 Reply

    Maybe I could do a little bit of stand-up?? I’ve got a taste for it now ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I think I forgot to thank you for the beer – cheers!!

  • Shelley

    27.09.2011 at 09:22 Reply

    Hey, thanks for the cider! ๐Ÿ™‚ I was gonna return the favour in the bar later, but somehow I missed you. At any rate, you were the last thing the hubby and I did in London before heading back home (that sounds kinky), and you really helped end our trip on a high note. Next time, I’m buying. Keep making people smile.


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