You Can Ring My Belfast

You Can Ring My Belfast

OK, here’s what happened in Belfast tonight.

I spent most of the first twenty minutes roaming throughout the crowd as a stream of people came in late, and I introduced myself to them. There was Nicola, two Maeves, and Daniel sitting on his own. But the guy that caught my eye was sitting right near the front in an Australian Wallabies Rugby jumper.

Turns out he wasn’t Australian, nor had he been to Australia. He got it from his wife. When I asked if she was Australian she said “Kind of. I live here now, I grew up in Australia, but I’m originally from Russia”. Wow. That is a combination I’ve never come across. I managed to combine all three accents, then asked her name. She replied “Valeria” (but pronounced to rhyme with Malaria).

How can one person have so much going on? Russian/Australian/Northern Irish, and with a name of Valeria. I later found out her surname was Grabanaka (I think). Valeria Grabanaka? It sounds like a terrible disease. “I’m sorry Mrs Johnson, it seems you have a rare strain of Valeria Grabanaka.”

They were a lovely couple though, and looked like this:


I started the second half by harassing a young man in the front row with his mates. He looked like he was trying out for the X Factor, they looked like they had just stolen a car. Since a woman called Grace was taking a photo anyway, I called him onstage and we recreated a male modelling pose from a bad fashion magazine. You know, where one guy looks at his watch and the other looks off into the distance:


I then tried to spring him in a compromising pose, but it ended up looking like he had surprised me anally:


I believe the correct caption for this is: “It’s never a bad time to have your prostate checked”

The rest of the show was without incident, except for the moment a few minutes from the end when I got completely thrown by a woman in the front row, who looked a lot like someone I work with on Spicks and Specks back in Australia. Maybe I’ve been away too long, but I thought this lady really looked like Myf Warhurst. I had to stop and take a photo, and promised to post it alongside a photo of Myf to prove my point. You decide. First here’s Myf:


Now here’s Grace:


I’m just sayin’, they look a little alike. That’s all.

That’s all to report from tonight’s show. We sold a whole stack of t shirts afterwards to raise money for Women’s Aid, and I went home to my hotel. By the way, I wanna give a shout out to John the taxi driver, who picked me up from Belfast Airport yesterday, drove me for an hour and forty five to Derry, then picked me up this morning and drove me an hour and forty five back to Belfast. As they say here – Good man yerself.

Norwich tomorrow, and more to report I’m sure.

Goodnight now



  • Darren Thomas

    05.11.2009 at 12:36 Reply

    Was a fantastic show Adam, I really enjoyed it. I was the second 35 year old in the 2nd row when you were looking for older and grumpy! I didn’t expect you to get the pics on so fast. There must be a iphone App for that. By the way I was sitting behind Nicola and she was not late. She was first in room. She had just nipped out to find her friend from the second row. She must have some Dutch ancestry not to say.

    You were great on Mock the Week but your live show just blew me away. I will looking out for you returning to ‘Norn Iron’ and recommending you to everyone I know.

    p.s. Have you booked an appointment yet with that Australian nurse from the second row?

  • Sarah

    05.11.2009 at 18:55 Reply

    Great show last night. Sorry for putting you off! I don’t think I look like Myf but whatever 😛

  • jacqui neijens

    05.11.2009 at 21:37 Reply

    grace looks familar but MYf is much prettier and exploding with life and shes ours

  • Grace

    05.11.2009 at 23:10 Reply

    I’m not gonna be dutch, thats not my photo lol , Great show tho, brought back ‘interesting’ memories of Montreal, “contiki aboriginal for sluts”. Bring on the next time I go to see your show, some city, somewhere else in the world 🙂

  • Chris

    06.11.2009 at 03:53 Reply

    Jacqui, I think Sarah is perfectly attractive (as is Myf) and I’m sure she’s also a veritable life explosion herself.

  • Valeria and Simon

    06.11.2009 at 04:43 Reply

    Great show Adam, we had a brilliant time. Never laughed so hard in my life. Just about to order your latest DVD from the ABC Shop. Well done with the name, not everyone can spell Valeria (and yes, it rhymes with malaria, that’s what I say to other people). The surname’s actually Gribakina, but your attempt was very close. You have to come to Belfast again, we’ll deffinitely be there.

  • nicola

    06.11.2009 at 08:10 Reply

    thanks darren thomas for the back up on the lateness, young maeve decided 20mins before the show that she wanted to go, that explains the awkard entrance!!!ha ha By the way great show adam, we all enjoyed it.

  • Nicola Convery

    06.11.2009 at 08:16 Reply

    Thanks Darren Thomas for the backup on the lateness. Young Maeve only decided 20mins before the show she was going which explains the awkward entrance
    Great show Adam we all loved it

  • A funny thing happened… « Imitating Art with Phil Crossey

    06.11.2009 at 23:48 Reply

    […] But it turns out she wasn’t the only person there who was writing about the show, as Andy Hills himself illustrates in his blog. […]

  • Jake T.

    07.11.2009 at 04:40 Reply

    hey. its the guy you were you were recreating the male model poses with. just want to say i really enjoyed the show. can’t wait till next year. maybe we can add a couple of pics to the album.

  • Lisa

    07.11.2009 at 10:34 Reply

    Just wanted to say i thought u were great the other night, interacting with the crowd was very funny. 🙂
    hopefully u will be back to belfast again, il defo be there:)

  • Emma

    07.11.2009 at 13:34 Reply

    Just to say hi and well done on such a fantastic show on wednesday! You’ve just gone and northern ireland already wants you back, so please, please come again soon. Thanks for staying right to the end and signing our shirts too, what a cool gentleman you really are.
    Oh and we loved Big Red Fire Engine too but didn’t have internet to comment on it then. Have fun!

  • Hilaire and Erene

    08.11.2009 at 09:58 Reply

    Just wanted to say that we loved, loved, loved your show, so we did. Thanks for the blog and piccies that you have put up. We were part of the Aussie Occareena and it really made our night that we were actually part of your show! Your show made us a little homesick with all your ‘aussieness’ but could definitely relate to your issues with the Northern Irishism! Will definitely be in the crowd in the future ‘Oh Yeeeaaa’

  • jacqui neijens

    08.11.2009 at 13:30 Reply

    Chris you are right about Sarah she is perfectly lovely I just got carried away did not mean it as i wrote it too hasty sorry

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